i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize