Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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