honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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