She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize