The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
