he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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