when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
