In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
