In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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