you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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