Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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