You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
