No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
