Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
