Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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