So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
