This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was CRYING into my vagina
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize