The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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