Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
