Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
