4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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