Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
