We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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