it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
