THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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