Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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