Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
