last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
