so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
