he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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