...so i touched it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
