I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize