i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
