she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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