I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
