He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
