one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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