...so i touched it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
