I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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