it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
