I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
