i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
