This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
