chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
