and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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