i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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