My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
