But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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