I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
