I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
