so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
