my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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