Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
