Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
