I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
