I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
