About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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